It’s been a year, more than one year. This sad news delivers me to write my blog post again.
Chester Bennington is passed away. Yea, definitely internet brought it to me. But why I feel like, all my world is falling down. Down to the bottom of my past, my highschool hell stories, my bestfriend and my first love. 18 hours after the news spread. Here, me one of your people, no, you’re and your guys, Chester Bennington, Michael Kenji Shinoda, Rob Bourdon, Joseph Hahn, and brad Delson, this message is for you guys. Please holding on and thank you always with my regardfulness.

Mental illness? That’s not a surprise for become a centre attention from another centre attention people, or want to be centre attention people, that compete to anyone lives by entertainment world with huge famousity and others problem surrounded, I hate to read comments by people who can’t put any respect to other side’s condition. I decide to not browse all post about him, I just sad. I just want to know the cronology,  that put off my phone. I don’t need their fucking opinions on you. It’s just me and you guys right now.

To pace away this shockness, I play an old movie. Disconnected? Ah yea, that’s so me. That’s why you guys help me to keeping my path. The very hot day after school, your hybrid theory and Meteora. Do you guys know how I find you? One gloomy day I regret myself to choose agree enter the school I ain’t want, I just do it to my Dad. I’m so regretting my school live and I hate for become the target of bullying. Yes, I’ve been bullied by the kids in my school because ‘I’m different’. That day, the pirated illegally compact disk seller at the street near my school. That one song  hinted all over radio, when I still don’t understand about how easily download it songs later. I ‘m looking for your cassette, I save my money and we run over to cassette stores, me and my friend, we escape school, we escape extended classes. To buy cassette, the next day I play your cassette every day until about countless turn to flip-flop the cassette side.  Your scream and that blah-blah-blah rapping (my mom said) is noisy all over the house, remembering I’m the only daughter in the house, it’s categorized as abnormal. And yea indeed, I have some family issues too. I can’t deny myself that I was a teenager who needs more attention from family and running for a direction. Communication never be my right to speak out inside the house, where my thinking considered as not important. Until now.  There, I met also my bestfriend and my first love. There I start to have something finally I can dream on. I want to be focus pass my highschool life and made it extraordinary. I, this so-called delinquent student, who in fact being bullied and almost alone, slow at study and nervous to talk to my crush; have the boldness to get better.

Day by day, after that and also the college life. You start to change your genre, I don’t care. I’m willing to stay with you guys, though people say it’s stupid and you guys are confused and lose identity. It’s not. Music made by experience, all your lyric, the melody, rhythm,
comes as gift. You made it because it’s your message, your story. We choose you because we adore you. We are at the same path, you made us a clear line how we feel about our live. If you change your music and we stay, it means we’re still at the same path. Behold, please behold! Do it like you guys first met, like you guys first talk and decide to make what song it should be, into your album. I never met you directly, I never watch your concert, not a single one. My family is poor. Me too, broken.  Our connection is just songs. All people who choose you, all stay. Don’t regret life. You guys are bigger, the bigger leads.

Adore you always.

Chester Bennington.